This is fifty shades of NOT ALL RIGHT!
OH MY GOD. D:
If your boyfriend tells you to lose weight, you should absolutely do as he says. Drop 150 pounds instantly by dumping his stupid ass and then go eat a pizza like the beautiful bitch you are
chillin on a Saturday night
Calm down jojo
you’re right, I am looking a little stiff here, I should try to relax
You call that “chillin”?
Everyone knows the best way to relax is with a good book and a warm drink
I dunno, man,
sometimes I like just relaxing on my laptop
get on my level boys
NEED MONEY FOR COLLEGE
NEED COLLEGE FOR JOB
NEED JOB FOR MONEY
WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS SYSTEM
NEED EXPERIENCE FOR JOB
NEED JOB TO GET EXPERIENCE
NEED CAR FOR JOB
NEED JOB FOR CAR
GOTTA EAT TO LIVE
GOTTA STEAL TO EAT
TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT WHEN I GOT THE TIME
ONE JUMP AHEAD OF THE SLOWPOKES
ONE SKIP AHEAD OF MY DOOM
NEXT TIME GOTTA USE A NOM DE PLUME
It got better
In this time of term papers I wanted to draw my patron deity, Bullshitticus, god of students and general last minute fudgery, sitting upon his Golden Futon, attended by the muses Caffeina and Thesaurae, whose powers of artificial energy and pretentious vocabulary can be invoked in case of the all-nighter.
I like to think he’s Dionysus’s second cousin or something.
This is genius…
all wise words from the sagest of the sage.
Here’s an awesome little piece of history:
Archaeologists in the Burnt City have discovered what appears to be an ancient prosthetic eye. What makes this discovery exceptionally awesome is the striking description of how the owner and her false eye would have appeared while she was still alive and blinking:
[The eye] has a hemispherical form and a diameter of just over 2.5 cm (1 inch). It consists of very light material, probably bitumen paste. The surface of the artificial eye is covered with a thin layer of gold, engraved with a central circle (representing the iris) and gold lines patterned like sun rays. The female remains found with the artificial eye was 1.82 m tall (6 feet), much taller than ordinary women of her time. On both sides of the eye are drilled tiny holes, through which a golden thread could hold the eyeball in place. Since microscopic research has shown that the eye socket showed clear imprints of the golden thread, the eyeball must have been worn during her lifetime. The woman’s skeleton has been dated to between 2900 and 2800 BCE.
So she was an extraordinarily tall woman walking around wearing an engraved golden eye patterned with rays like a tiny sun. What an awesome sight that must have been.
SOMEONE DRAW HER PLEASE
This is why you cant trust women, even when theyre mouth is closed theyre still lying to you
you do realize that this is really hurtful right?
i did not do this to show how i am ‘lying’ to men or anyone, it’s not about how you, as a man, should feel about it - it’s about myself.
to me your statement sounds as if the left side of this picture is something awful or horrible. and no, it’s not. it is my face - with and without makeup. and whether i chose to wear it or not is MY AND JUST MY decision. and when i do, i do it for myself - so that i feel good about myself - not for you.
Another example of how society has fucked women. If we don’t wear makeup, we’re “ugly.” If we do, we’re “liars” or “whores.” No-win situation.
What a lovely thing to say. A woman wearing make up is not fucking ‘lying’ too you; and if you think it is than you have bigger problems than what’s being stated in your cute little message.
Ignoring all the misogyny in the comments of this post because psfft, fuckoff dipshits, your makeup game is fucking TIGHT look at THAT EYEBROW, THAT IS HOW YOU DO AN EYEBROW.
“At the height of his cocaine addiction, David Bowie weighed only 95 pounds, hardly a healthy weight for 5’11”. He later said that he spent most of the mid-Seventies trying to perfect telekinesis and trying to keep Jimmy Page and witches from stealing his soul.”
trying to keep Jimmy Page and witches from stealing his soul